Juliette's Story

I have put off writing this post for a while. It is a very emotional one for me, and some parts of it I would rather just forget. But here it is...

Canaan and I went to the hospital Wednesday, July 13th. They were going to use Cervadell that night to get me ready to induce on Thursday. At the hospital, things were in slow motion. This process didn't get started until almost midnight, which meant the Petocin drip would not be started until about noon on Thursday. Thursday morning, at about 3:30 a.m. contractions started. At noon the Petocin drip was started to speed up the process. Eventually the doctor broke my water to try and get the process moving. Contractions continued, but I was making little process. I didn't read, watch movies, or do much of anything. I just listed to Juliette's little heart beat on the monitor. 

I started feeling very concerned because I noticed the heart beat would slow way down. I couldn't see the monitor to know how many beats per minute, but the sound difference was obvious. I was fearful it would stop and not start again. This seemed to be happening during contractions. The nurse tried to assure me that this was normal, but that didn't take away my fear. My mom has always said I am a worry wart. At this point, I was still only two centimeters dilated. How long could I go on hearing my little one's heart beat slow down like this?

The nurse came in to take the heart monitor off my belly and put one directly on Juliette's head. She worked to get the monitor on at a fast pace and said, "I need to do this quickly." This made me feel that, yes, something wasn't right. Juliette was having variable decelerations. At this point, the doctor decided to add fluid back into the uterus. She hypothesized that Juliette could be lying on the umbilical cord and the fluid would add some cushion. At first it seemed to be working, but soon after the heart rate started slowing down again. When this would happen, multiple nurses would come into my room, not letting on that anything was wrong. They would poke at my belly or have me change positions to try to get the heart rate back up. This was emotionally draining. How long could I go on hearing my baby's heart beat slowing down and wondering if it would speed back up again or just stop? Eventually, to my relief, the doctor made the call to do a C-section. She said it would be one thing if I was 8 or 9 centimeters, but I was still only at two!

I went into the c-section with mixed emotions. On one hand, I was excited. I was about to see our little girl. I was also scared. This was all unknown, and I had no idea what to expect. Before the C-section began, they did a few pinches to see if I was numb. I could still feel it, so they gave me some more of whatever the drug is, and then got started. I was told that I would feel it, but that it wouldn't hurt. It definitely hurt. It was far worse then breaking my arm and very traumatic, since I wasn't supposed to be feeling pain. I tried to focus on my baby girl and not think about it, but I couldn't. It hurt too much. I managed to stick around long enough to hear her cry and listen to her weight. I heard on nurse say, "she is long." As the anesthesiologist hung a bag of something, I went out. Then I remember them stitching me up. I was told that I was being stubborn. I guess, from what the doctor told me, they were having a little trouble getting me to stop bleeding.

On Friday Canaan was going through pictures on his computer. I asked him, when were these taken? I have no memory of them. These were the pictures of Juliette after they got her cleaned up in the delivery/surgery room. I really don't like talking about all of this. For some reason it always makes me cry, even now as I type this, but that's what happened. Even though we had a few scares and things didn't go quite as planned, we are blessed. We have a beautiful, healthy, baby girl.

After the surgery I asked one of that nurses if they found out what was causing the heart variable decelerations. She told me that the cord was around Juliette's neck. Although the C-section was a horrible experience, I am so glad we did it and that our little Juliette is here safe and sound.